I have decided not to come back to China next year. For a number of reasons I have decided that the time that I have had here has fulfilled my desires for this experience and I think that I can learn and grow more, and hopefully find a fulfilling job, closer to home.
Given that my time here is now shortened by half, I have begun to feel a sense of urgency to experience as much as I can while I am here. Already I feel like I am forgetting things that I have done. I can no longer vividly picture and remember all of the amazing moments that I have had travelling so far. I keep thinking to myself that I need to somehow enjoy it more, or soak it up better than I have so that I can savour this experience maximally. But I don't know how to. I feel like I am doing all I can to enjoy those moments, to reflect on the greatness of the experience, yet still it feels like it’s not enough. How can I relive that feeling, I need to get it back, to keep it with me?
And then I started thinking... is this what addiction feels like? Is this how addiction begins? You experience something that feels so great and then in time, slowly the feeling and the memory start to fade away or change, and how else can you get it back other than doing it over again? Is that why people stay in bad relationships? Because they felt absolute love once and how do you get that feeling back besides repeating it? Is it the same for other addictions?
If this is true, then I am becoming addicted to travel. Addicted to that feeling of disbelief that you are in a place you never imagined, experiencing the most amazing sights. Addicted to learning new things and meeting people in different places.
So although I am not coming back to China next September this is definitely not the last time I travel and explore new places.
I hope that it is only the beginning.
Given that my time here is now shortened by half, I have begun to feel a sense of urgency to experience as much as I can while I am here. Already I feel like I am forgetting things that I have done. I can no longer vividly picture and remember all of the amazing moments that I have had travelling so far. I keep thinking to myself that I need to somehow enjoy it more, or soak it up better than I have so that I can savour this experience maximally. But I don't know how to. I feel like I am doing all I can to enjoy those moments, to reflect on the greatness of the experience, yet still it feels like it’s not enough. How can I relive that feeling, I need to get it back, to keep it with me?
And then I started thinking... is this what addiction feels like? Is this how addiction begins? You experience something that feels so great and then in time, slowly the feeling and the memory start to fade away or change, and how else can you get it back other than doing it over again? Is that why people stay in bad relationships? Because they felt absolute love once and how do you get that feeling back besides repeating it? Is it the same for other addictions?
If this is true, then I am becoming addicted to travel. Addicted to that feeling of disbelief that you are in a place you never imagined, experiencing the most amazing sights. Addicted to learning new things and meeting people in different places.
So although I am not coming back to China next September this is definitely not the last time I travel and explore new places.
I hope that it is only the beginning.
RSS Feed